Thoughts By Stoss p5

Stoss — Thu, 22 Sep 2005 22:51:39 +0000

So, one thing that is quite neat about women and men is the different approaches they take on appearance. I found that when women need a haircut, they plan long in advance, have 2 or 3 magazine clippings chosen for the style and have had, at minimum, an hour or 2 discussion about what colour, style, and whether it will accentuate their jaw line too much with a few close girlfriends.

With guys, for instance me, it took 5 minutes of asking directions to the nearest Salon, and my only requirement was “Before Sunday”.

I spent more time deciding on what brand of cereal to buy then I did on what I should wear for the next month on my head. And on that note, don’t buy Muslix, it’s actually birdseed. That stuff is like eating trailmix that actually was made from mixing elements found along a dirt trail. I will stick to my Special K.

I think if a guy went to a salon and asked for the “George Clooney” look, the hairdresser would assume he was gay and could cut his own hair.

And why is it that male haistylists have to be gay? And not just gay, flambouyantly gay. You can spot a male hairstylist from 10 blocks away hidden behind a wall, in the middle of the night. They’re so flaming they light up the street.

Anyway, I think the most important point here is having the “Jennifer Aniston” does not make you Jennifer Aniston.. if it did, men would be even more horny and the world does not need hornier men. ‘Cause at the rate women turn down sex, we’d have to start tapping the gay hairdressers…

Ramping Cereal

Stoss — Fri, 19 Aug 2005 22:50:47 +0000

So you are having a sleepy morning, rubbing your eyes, PJs half on, half off, slowly walking to the kitchen bumping into walls and trying not to turn on deadly lights that burn your retinas . You reach for your favourite bowl and spoon, and sleepily pour some cereal into the bowl.
You go get that smooth, refreshing cool milk to make this dish the wakeup meal you desperately crave, and as you pour that delicious white nectar of cows over your dried wheat crisps it suddenly shoots over the edge! Holy cow!(<– hehehe, bad pun) Now you are half asleep and pissed, there is milk everywhere and it is dripping onto the floor and then you slam down the milk jug and it squirts all over making it so much more worse. You start shaking your head in disgust and as you do the jug tips over and soaks everything in the area.
Your morning is ruined, your whole counter is ruined. Life…. is…. over.

And all because of Ramping Cereal….that’s right ramping cereal…..By that I am reffering to any cereal brand that has the curvature to send milk flying in all sorts of directions. Oh the humanity! Why can’t Corn flakes be flat?! Frosted Flakes could be sticks! Life would be so much easier! Women are meant to have curves, cereal is meant to have taste! Those are two facts of life! Fix this problem! PLEASE! It’s driving me mad!

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Thoughts By Stoss p5

Ramping Cereal