I have been gone for so long from this blog, my thoughts are now all scattered.
I find that after spending 9 or 10 hours at work on one of these things, I would rather watch tv and eat, then type more into a screen. Sort of like a stripper who is getting ready for bed thinking “Ah fuck, more work…”.
Why do VCR’s and DVD players have a Fast Forward setting that is so fast no human could possibly stop at the place they wanted? This is the exact opposite of the whole “Volume button that goes to 11″ thing. I think Sony needs to watch Spinal Tap to clue in.
Speaking of knobs, the heaters in my apartment are like baseboard heating at home, except that if you have the setting below 5, it doesn’t actually turn on. The English have a knack for creating the most complicated products imaginable. For instance: The toilet seats in the bathrooms (as opposed to the ones in our kitchen) are physically attached to the bowl. Not like at home where anyone with a screwdriver could swap it for the fancy seat that sings the national anthem while you crap.
I have to admit, I do love how elevators talk to you in England. Its always nice that after you enter the elevator it says “Please select your floor”. I was always confused about what to do while standing in an elevator before the kind computerized British voice cleared it all up for me. Once you press the button of course, the elevator assures you that you are in fact “Going Up” or “Going Down”. I’d like to hack the system and reverse the two sound bits so I could confuse the hell out of idiots.
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